Thanks mama

an overdue letter of gratitude for you from me

I haven’t even started writing an I am already tearing up. Where do I even begin to thank you?

I want to start off by saying I am sorry. I am sorry I rarely give you the credit you deserve for all that you have done for me and all that you continue to do. The sacrifices and the celebrations. The big and the little. All of it. It does not go unnoticed. Please know it is clear to me that at the heart of all that you do is Alvaro and I. Thank you for the roof over my head, the food on the table, the clothes on my back, the education provided and for the sweetest snuggles. You have this incredible way to make me feel better. Every single time. Whether I share what is on my mind, sit there in silence, or want to cry it out. You just hold me and tell me you are here. Laying with me until I fall asleep and greeting me with your smile and kisses. In times, where I feel hopeless, you look at me and you tell me, with your soft hands on my face, “I know you will be ok? I know.” and I look back at you and nod. Feeling so thankful and trusting.  Sometimes all you need is some reassurance from your mom. The person that knew you before you knew you. The person that loved you before you knew what love was. The person that will always be there. The highs the lows. Close or far. Without judgement.

I want to say, especially now, how incredibly grateful I am to have your support, strength and help. Just the other day, I mentioned I wanted to start therapy and an hour later you set up an appointment for me. When I got laid off the second time, I call you and you remind me how fortunate I am in comparison to others. Last night, when I was feeling sad and anxious, you said, “Hey have you checked out this blog, goodness and wellness? I learned this trick” and you start tracing my fingers to help my anxiety. You always know how to handle all the situations that arise and make it look so easy. How do you do it? It’s remarkable.

I know we haven’t always gotten along (especially in my teen years) but I think as I have gotten older, I am starting to see the world a little more like you. I love how you are yourself all the time and unapologetically so. You are brave. You are kind. You are beautiful. I want to continue to grow closer and become the person you can depend on just the way I have always depended on you. You are an incredible mother and I take my hat off to you. I hope one day I become a mother so I can try to exemplify the incredible woman you are. I love your energy, wit, strength but more than anything your heart. Never stop being you.

Tu gatita